


Killer's Conundrum

by EvenescentTranquility



Series: One Piece Soulmate One Shots! [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fem Harry Potter - Freeform, Female Harry, Female Harry Potter, Genderbending, Killer is so confused, Mechanic Eustass Kid, Pity the first mate, Romantic Soulmates, Rule 63, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, poor killer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:07:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21735775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenescentTranquility/pseuds/EvenescentTranquility
Summary: At first, second, and even third glance Eustass Kid and the dainty, petite, polite doll-like woman who claims to be his soulmate have absolutely nothing in common, and Killer is absolutely confused about why the universe decided she of all people was going to be soulmate to his ruthless captain.
Relationships: Eustass Kid & Killer, Eustass Kid/Fem!Harry Potter, Eustass Kid/Female Harry Potter, Eustass Kid/Harry Potter, Killer & Female Harry Potter
Series: One Piece Soulmate One Shots! [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/696864
Comments: 55
Kudos: 919
Collections: Lovely Pieces, Time Travel and World Travel





	Killer's Conundrum

Massacre Soldier Killer, First Mate of the Kidd pirates under Captain Eustass Kidd tried not to stare as his captain, his temperamental, bloodthirsty, ruthless captain, as he allowed a tiny slip of a woman to drag him by the hand into the cabin of the ship, giggling sweetly all the while. He liked to think that he was a reasonable, rational, intelligent individual, but for the first time in his life he was stumped, well and truly stumped. 

It had all begun three days ago when the Captain, who was on the very edge of a tantrum, had decided to go take a walk in an attempt not to take his temper out on his crew. After all Kidd was many things, but the one thing he was above all others was loyal to his own men. Most of them were pretty immune to his temper by now knowing Kidd wouldn’t ever actually hurt them unless they really crossed the line, but there were some newbies still and Kidd didn’t actually like taking his temper out on them.

Thus knowing they would be relatively safe on this island without him he’d gone off to find a more worthy target for his ire leaving Killer, as usual, to ensure they were well stocked on supplies and that none of the crew got into too much trouble on shore leave.

He’d expected that sooner or later they would either have to make a run for it, or be dragged into an enormous fight when the captain was inevitably provoked by whatever unfortunate soul happened to cross paths with him. Knowing this from experience he’d been tense and, in a rush, to make sure they had everything they needed just in case. Instead of the commotion he’d been expecting, he found himself metaphorically on edge as hours crept by with absolutely no sign of either chaos or his captain.

He knew Kidd was more than capable of taking care of himself, so while he was worried he was mostly worried about how big the fallout was going to be this time not about his captain’s well being. In his experience the quieter it was in Kidd’s vicinity the bigger the inevitable explosion was going to be. He hadn’t been the only one to think so either as he’d overheard several wagers between the more experienced members of the crew about what kind of trouble they’d be getting into this time.

However, nothing happened. The day was completely and utterly quiet and wore on into a peaceful evening. Killer had slept lightly that night ready to leap into action at a moments’ notice, but nothing had happened. There was no sign of any kind of disaster or of their captain.

Despite that he didn’t get really concerned until around noon, and he was just on the verge of asking Heat and Wire if they’d go take a look around town when Kidd had walked aboard the ship. His captain had been practically beaming and he had a bounce in his step that Killer had never seen before except after a particularly brutal encounter with the marines right after they’d entered the Grand Line when Kidd had been high off the carnage and their first big step toward his dream.

It had been extremely unnerving, and he along with everyone else on the deck had frozen in place, wondering just what the hell was going on, when they caught sight of her standing next to their captain, almost hidden by his enormous coat and easily overlooked when considering she was only maybe half Kidd’s size.

She was a tiny little thing, only coming about to Kidd’s chest with neatly pinned pitch-black hair and glowing green eyes. Despite being tiny she was well proportioned and with her pale porcelain skin, and pretty pink knee length dress with its short-puffed sleeves, soft, sweet white lace trim and her white parasol she looked more like a doll than anything else. 

However, even though she looked small and relatively harmless he’d been on his guard, knowing that appearances could be deceiving especially here in the Grand Line. His first instinct was that Kidd had found them a new crew member, their first female one, not that he had any problem with that, knowing from experience that females could be just as if not even more vicious than men could be. He was more than prepared to accept her with grace, that is until Kidd introduced her, not as a new crewmember, though of course she would be that too, but as his soulmate.

Killer had actually bitten his tongue in shock, and only the pain from the smarting appendage let him know he wasn’t dreaming. He was just glad that his mask had hidden his face as he positively gawked at the pair of them. His eyes moving back and forth between the two in incredulous shock as he took in Kidd’s pleased and proud smirk and her shy sweet smile as she clutched his arm in one hand and twirled her parasol in the other

His other crewmates hadn’t been so lucky and had practically gawped at the pair of them that is until Kidd had lost his smile and begun to glare menacingly at them. They’d immediately scrambled as Kidd’s soulmate, who proceeded to introduce herself as Hanae Potter, giggled sweetly at Kidd’s side, earning a surprisingly fond look, one that up until that moment Killer hadn’t known his captain was capable of, before he dragged his soulmate off to show her around the ship.

Since then everyone, including Killer himself had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome aboard the ship, knowing to do otherwise would be to bring down their captain’s wrath on their heads, and Killer himself spent every spare moment trying to figure out why the hell fate had decided to match his big, menacing, bloodthirsty beast of a captain to the tiny, sweet, woman with the manners of an angel. He wasn’t the only one confused either.

The first thing he’d done after finishing her tour was to gather up the crew and introduce her to everyone. She’d smiled sweetly at every single person, seemingly not at all bothered about how menacing or strange each and every member looked, shaking hands and kissing cheeks in greeting, with the occasional sweet giggle at the baffled looks on their faces as Kidd looked indulgently on.

His captain had then announced that she’d be staying with them from now on, which honestly had been the only thing that hadn’t surprised him. His captain was a possessive man after all, he was certainly possessive of his crew, and his soulmate would be no different.

Killer had asked if she needed any help getting her things so they could help move them for her, and been surprised when she’d said she had everything she needed on her and then thanked him for being so sweet. Again, he felt himself grateful for the mask as it hid the furious blush on his face, along with his incredulous expression, though of course Kidd had seen right through that and begun laughing at him uproariously. 

He’d glared, but there was nothing he could do considering it was his captain, and he got the feeling Kidd would skin him if he ever did anything to his soulmate. Thus, he had to settle for being grateful no one else had been in earshot and wondering what the hell kind of person thought someone with his appearance and epithet and manner was sweet of all things. He was the ‘Massacre Soldier’ for sea’s sake! He reveled in the fighting, pillaging and plundering that came with being a pirate. The last thing on earth he could be considered was ‘sweet’.

Later that first day she’d come, Heat had approached him, an awed and confused look on his face as he told Killer that Hanae had swung by and asked to help out in the kitchen. At first, he’d been a little wary of getting her help or telling her what to do thinking Kidd probably wouldn’t like it, but she’d assuaged his concerns by telling him that Kidd already knew she’d be helping around the ship because she wanted to pull her own weight.

Apparently, she was a wonderful little assistant and happily did whatever Heat asked her to do, peeling potatoes, washing dishes, and whatever else he asked of her. She was also quite good at making certain things including cakes. She’d made red velvet cupcakes for dessert that night with cream cheese frosting and candy hearts on top, and despite the almost disgustingly cute look of them, he and the rest of the crew including his captain had found themselves devouring them because they were so tasty.

The next day she’d come out in a whole new outfit. Another dress, a white halter neck this time with an abundance of lace, gold lace up sandals and her white parasol again over her shoulder, and Killer had, had to double take wondering where the hell she’d gotten the outfit considering she hadn’t brought anything with her and had refuted the need to fetch her things.

He would’ve suspected she’d gone out to buy it, but the minute Kidd had finished introducing his soulmate and ensuring they had the supplies they needed they’d left, as the log had already set for the next island. There was no way she could’ve gone shopping for it from the middle of the ocean, which once again left him completely and utterly boggled.

She’d spent the day when she wasn’t with Kidd walking around the ship, asking the occasional question here and there and only disappearing around meal times to help Heat in the kitchen. Most of her questions had been directed at Wire about how the ship worked, apparently, she’d never been on a ship before, which was kind of shocking in and of itself considering this was the Grand Line and the world was ninety percent ocean.

Wire took her questions in stride and was more than happy to tell her about his masterpiece babbling on and on about it. She took his babbling well, seemingly genuinely interested, and she was quick enough to understand most of it, or at least that’s what Wire had told him afterwards, because she asked all the right questions and never needed telling something twice.

In this at least she was well matched with Kidd. His captain might seem like a bloodthirsty meathead to most but Kidd was actually a genius when it came to engineering and anything mechanical. A lot of the inventions and knick-knacks around the deck were things he’d created, the weapons in particular. It was no accident he had eaten the Devil Fruit that he had, oh no, the two of them had spent years searching for the damn thing, and it was only sheer luck they’d managed to find it before coming to the Grand Line.

Still watching her gracefully following Wire around, twirling that damnable parasol of hers a complete and utter contrast to the reams of barbed wire and other dangerous objects strewn about the ship to discourage outsiders from attempting to board them was mindboggling. She simply didn’t fit, like a little girl’s pristine porcelain doll surrounded by concrete, broken glass and barbed wire. It boggled the mind, and Killer had gone to bed with a headache trying to figure out just what the hell he was missing.

The second day had been more of the first, although he had popped in to Kidd’s workshop for a while to see what his captain was working on this time and if he needed any help. He’d found Hanae down there with him, sitting in what was obviously a corner cleared just for her, in a comfortable chair, calmly reading something or another as Kidd tinkered away.

Set in front of her was a delicate porcelain tea service he knew couldn’t have come from their own kitchen, with pink and purple roses with gold leaf it wasn’t something any of them would’ve touched unless they were trying to fence it maybe. She was holding a delicate teacup in one hand and sipping inaudibly, her pinky held outwards, the perfect picture of a lady.

At his bench Kidd was sweating, his coat thrown over his chair and his hair in disarray. He had grease all over his hands, and smudged on his face and in his hair, a few cuts and bruises from wrestling with some of the machinery down here and leftover from earlier sparring littering his skin, the complete and utter opposite of his soulmate.

Kidd had indeed needed his help, so he’d rolled up his sleeves and the two of them had set to work. After a while he hadn’t even noticed Hanae’s presence. She faded to the background as the two of them maneuvered the parts for something that Kidd assured him was going to be a special kind of canon together.

They’d only been pulled out of work by the smell of food, and Killer had found himself looking up, his stomach rumbling to find Hanae, still sitting in her corner, but the tea service had seemingly disappeared and in its place were several plates of food for the three of them.

He and his captain had gratefully set on the things she’d obviously brought for them, his captain only pausing to kiss her chastely on the cheek, not at all what he would’ve expected from bloodthirsty Eustass Kidd, but enough to make her smile adoringly at him. It was almost sickeningly sweet, and he still didn’t understand at all.

He’d never questioned fate before, never questioned that whoever it was that ensured the first words of soulmates showed up somewhere on their skin might make a mistake. He was now. He just didn’t think the two of them could fit together once Kidd came down from whatever high he’d been on upon finding his soulmate and went back to his normal temperamental self.

This was a bloodthirsty pirate crew, despite how they sometimes acted, and Hanae was sweet and kind and ultimately fragile. Killer had never really thought about what Kidd’s soulmate would be like, but if someone had asked he would’ve replied with words like tough, strong, and probably at least a touch sadistic, leather, metal and spikes, as opposed to Hanae’s lace, frills and the damn parasol. 

The Grand Line was going to break her, or send her running away screaming, that is only if Kidd didn’t the first time she saw him in battle. It was a daunting thought, especially since for some reason his captain didn’t seem to be worried about the inevitable fights, too busy being completely enamored with her to even think about what might happen when they met either a rival pirate crew or the marines again with Hanae aboard the ship.

It was as if his very thoughts had conjured their presence because the next thing he knew the lookout was shouting about a ship in the distance. He grimaced, wondering if maybe for once they’d just pass them by, and actually for the first time in his life hoping they might, when the first cannonballs were fired.

There was nothing for it now. Instead of allowing himself to fret over it he instead decided to focus on the here and now and deal with the aftermath later. Quickly he barked orders to those close by, as another round of cannon balls blasted toward them.

He cursed deflecting what he could and wondering where the hell his captain was, as he missed one which hit the railing and sent shrapnel flying everywhere. He got his answer a second later when Kidd stumbled out of his captain’s quarters bare chested without his normal coat or the weapons he normally kept strapped there and with nothing on his feet either.

Killer could make an educated guess about what he’d been doing and in any other situation probably would’ve laughed his ass off. As it was the look on Kidd’s face promised that this was going to be a bloody massacre. The captain was not happy about being cock blocked by marines.

Luckily it seemed like Hanae was staying inside, so everything would probably be fine. Maybe for once his captain had thought things through and told her ahead of time that she should stay out of sight when fights like these happened so that she wouldn’t get in the way or be upset by them. It wasn’t a perfect solution but it was more than he’d thought his captain would do. Pleased at this train of thought he turned back to the fight.

It turned out it was going to be more difficult than he’d originally thought. The marines had wised up for once and not bothered with cannons once they saw Kidd was repelling the mortars with ease. Instead they chose to board, which would’ve been nice, because it meant the rest of them got to see some action for once, except that it turned out the ship hadn’t been alone, but actually had another, which had been hidden by the bulk of the first, which had pulled up along their other side.

Still he wasn’t too worried. He could hear his captain cackling like the deranged lunatic he was, and he caught occasional glimpses of his other crewmates who seemed to be doing well enough. He himself was having a generally good time. It had been a while since an enemy had been smart enough to realize the need to get up close to limit Kidd’s powers and he hadn’t been able to cut loose for a while. In addition, there was nothing quite like a fight to relieve the stress of trying to figure out what the hell the fates were thinking pairing Kidd with Hanae.

“Hold it!” he ignored whoever that was, not recognizing the voice and not about to listen to the orders of some naval idiot.

“I said hold it! Hold it or the girl gets it!” that caught his attention. After all there was only one girl aboard their ship. Slowly he turned only to find exactly what he had been praying with all his might that he wouldn’t see. There was Hanae in the grips of a Navy soldier, with a knife held to her throat.

All activity ceased as the crew realized their captain’s soulmate was in danger. Their loyalty to him meant that none of them were ready to risk her life, something the naval idiot had probably realized. 

Killer risked a glance at Kidd, and wished he hadn’t. His captain was surrounded by bodies, covered in blood, and staring straight at the Marine, teeth bared and eyes flashing furiously. He was a sight, a sight that sent civilians and marines alike quaking in their boots.

Turning he wasn’t at all surprised to see the foolish marine doing just that, the blade trembling in his hand dangerously close to Hanae’s throat. What was surprising was the look on Hanae’s face. He’d expected her to be frightened, anxious, or well something, anything other than completely and utterly bored and maybe just a touch annoyed.

“Good thinking Rob!” a decorated marine called from back on one of the ships, an officer and probably the one in charge if he had to guess, “Now Kidd pirates, surrender to us or the girl gets it!”

Killer turned back to his furious captain to gauge what the plan of action was only to see him calmly looking at Hanae, “You owe me a thousand beri.”

Killer nearly gaped at his captain, who he’d expected to practically explode with rage, who was instead calmly demanding payment from his soulmate as if her life weren’t the least bit in peril. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one as the marines, all of ones who were conscious anyway, along with most of the crew had their jaws on the deck.

A loud sigh from Hanae’s direction had him turning back toward her to see her expression hadn’t changed as she replied, “In my defense I wasn’t even in their line of sight.”

Kidd snorted in response, “I told you those outfits of yours practically screamed target, you really should think about a new wardrobe.”

“I _like_ my dresses thank you, and I’ll remind you that you like them too,” she bantered back not at all bothered apparently by her current hostage situation, “I’m not giving them up just because naval intelligence is an oxymoron.”

“Yeah well you’re two for two now in being kidnapped so…” Kidd trailed off meaningfully.

“It’s not my fault! We can’t all be intimidating walls of muscle,” she informed him with a huff of exasperation.

“Pay attention damnit!” the marine with the knife shouted angrily apparently finding his voice and clearly unappreciative of their banter accidentally jerking the knife in the process and drawing a thin red line across Hanae’s neck, “Surrender or else!”

Kidd let out a feral sounding snarl but before he could do more than twitch the marine let out a scream of agony dropping the knife to the floor and releasing his hold on Hanae.

“It’s rude to interrupt people having polite conversation,” Hanae informed the marine, who was twitching in the aftermath of whatever had been done to him, “And I’ll be taking that knife thank you very much.”

So, saying she bent down to scoop the blade from the marine’s slack grip weighing it in her palm, flicking it expertly into the air and catching it again with an ease that spoke to long practice.

“You bitc…” the words were cut off as the marine officer found himself with a knife buried to the hilt in his throat. It seemed like some kind of signal because combat began anew, only this time Hanae was weaving in and out of the fighting. Killer couldn’t see exactly what she was doing but loud screaming followed her around the deck, and none of it hers so he assumed she was fine wherever she was.

The fight was over quickly after that, the attempted hostage maneuver with Hanae had clearly been a last-ditch effort, and one that had failed spectacularly. In less than five minutes every last marine was dealt with, leaving the Kidd pirates a moment to breathe and to gawp at their newest member who’d apparently worked her way over to Kidd leaving a trail of twitching bodies behind her.

“What the hell did you do to them?” Wire asked touching one of the marines she’d downed with a toe, earning a pitiful moan from the man in question, clear awe in his voice.

“I taught them the meaning of pain is all,” she assured him with the sweet smile she’d been wearing around the ship up until now back on her face, considering her dress, one that if he wasn’t mistaken had started out white, was now striped with spattered blood it made for a far less convincing and far more terrifying picture.

“And what exactly does that mean?” Heat asked then seemed to realize how disrespectful that had sounded, aimed toward a woman who’d easily incapacitated several still twitching marines and hastily tacked on, “er ma’am.”

“No need for formalities, we’re crewmembers under the same captain after all,” she assured him kindly leaning against Kidd who happily slung an arm over her shoulders in response, “And to answer your question, it’s a simple spell that fires all their nerves at once sending pain signals to the brain. It’s been known to cause people to go insane from the agony of it all if used for prolonged periods of time, luckily for these idiots it was only for a few seconds, so they should recover just fine.”

“W-witch,” one of the marines managed to choke out, and Killer had to admire his bravery if not his brains for managing to speak out.

He half expected her to do whatever she’d done to him before again, after all it’s what Kidd would’ve done in this situation, but instead she just smiled at the man, and for some reason despite the sweetness of her face and the innate friendliness in the gesture it was somehow incredibly menacing.

“Why yes,” she informed the man, clear pleasure in her voice, “Yes I am. I wouldn’t have thought anyone would cotton on so quickly.”

Apparently, the marine’s better judgment finally reasserted itself in the face of that terrifying smile and his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted dead away.

Kidd’s laugh echoed across the deck, and he was quickly joined by his soulmate’s giggles. Watching them with dawning amusement Killer began to realize that he might have been mistaken about how well they were matched.

…~oO*Oo~…

“I told you, those dresses were just asking for it,” Kidd crowed again as the crew all worked together to clean the deck of the mess, throwing the marines overboard after making sure to cripple their ships so they wouldn’t attempt to come after them again, not that Killer thought they could considering how thoroughly they’d managed to defeat them.

The two of them were quite the duo, and after her little display earlier Killer wasn’t surprised at all to find that despite all appearances to the contrary Hanae wasn’t the least bit squeamish about doing her part. 

For the last hour the entire crew had gotten a better look at how the two soulmates interacted as both helped in the clean-up. His captain apparently couldn’t stop ribbing his soulmate, who was taking his gloating with good grace despite how annoying he was being about it. Hell, Killer was half tempted to take a swing at him to shut him up and it wasn’t even directed at him.

“I have to ask,” he said in part because he couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer, and in part because he didn’t want to hear his captain gloating anymore, “How did you meet the captain?”

“Oh that,” Hanae acknowledged clearly surprised, not that he could blame her, he hadn’t spoken much to her these last few days, too busy trying to figure out her interactions with Kidd to be bothered with speaking, “Someone was trying to capture me, not entirely sure why this time, and I’d escaped again and was leaving an alley when I bumped into him.”

“His first words to me were, _Why the hell is someone like you all covered in blood?_ ” she mimicked, doing a surprisingly good imitation of Kidd’s bitingly sarcastic drawl, to which several of the crewmembers snorted in amusement earning an annoyed look from their captain, “Charming right?”

“What the hell was I supposed to say?” Kidd interrupted, “Here was this tiny little thing in what I can only assume was one of her cutesy little dresses absolutely drenched in blood, and you know what the minx says to me? _Oh some random asshole thought I’d be a good person to kidnap again, their mistake_.”

His rough baritone attempting to mimic her far sweeter tones was a complete and utter failure, but amusing nonetheless. He’d never heard his captain attempt to speak in falsetto before and the annoyed look from Hanae was also a first though it was mixed with fondness.

It made sense. Actually, it made a hell of a lot of sense, so this was why…!

His epiphany was interrupted by Hanae snarking back at her soulmate, “If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times now. There’s nothing wrong with my dresses!”

“Only, you know, the fact that they make you like a soft and easy target,” Kidd told her his tone clearly indicating that this was an argument that had been rehashed several times now.

“If you’ve got such a problem with my dresses, why don’t you come and try to take it off me then?” she challenged hands on hips, as she raised her eyebrows clearly daring him to try.

Kidd straightened to his full and more than a bit menacing height, especially compared to her, a lascivious grin on his face, “You askin’ me to strip you Hanae?”

“Hmm, I would but I just don’t think you’re up for it,” she told him clearly not the least bit intimidated and with a clear glance at Kidd’s crotch to get her point across, “After all you’ve been trying for three days now and I have yet to even get my shoes off let alone my dress whereas you… well… I think I’m clearly winning in that department, don’t you?”

Kidd glanced down at his bare chest seemingly remembering all of a sudden that he was only wearing pants and nothing else, before turning his predatory gaze on Hanae, clearly reminded that they’d been interrupted in the middle of something.

Hanae smirked, the most dangerous expression he’d seen on her face yet, a clear challenge on her face as she turned and sauntered back toward the captain’s cabin that the marine had originally pulled her out of.

Kidd was clearly up for the challenge as he sped by the rest of the crew and scooped her up and over his shoulder carting her off toward the cabin at speed, with Hanae clearly laughing on his back, looking extremely pleased with herself.

Killer shook his head at his own foolishness. It seemed fate had proved him wrong, those two were clearly meant for each other, each as ruthless, aggressive and teasing as the other just in separate ways.

“Back to work,” he barked at the others who were gaping after their captain and his soulmate, “We’ll all have plenty of time to gawp at the pair of them later, there’s only so much time before the blood stains the deck, so let’s get this tidied up people.”

The crew jumped back to work and as they did he reflected that things were going to get very interesting around here, especially since now that he knew why fate had matched Kidd with Hanae he had a new conundrum to ponder. Just what the hell was a witch and why was Hanae claiming to be one?

**…~oO THE END Oo~…**

**Author's Note:**

> Another soulmate fic and another rare pairing! I hope you guys enjoy it!


End file.
